Yesterday I changed my display name on my blog. I am no longer posting as reneedesigns, I am now officially butwhymommy.
Now this may not seem like much of a big deal, my blog name is But Why Mommy, I sign my name as butwhymommy when I comment on other blogs. It is who I am right now. I am butwhymommy because I am a mommy.
But it is strange for me. I started blogging in 2006 under the name reneedesigns. I have an etsy store also called ReneeDesigns. For two years it was how I identified myself. I was a jewelry designer and I my name is Renee. The two when hand in hand.
I had made jewerly for years and wanted it to be my profession. I took classes, I learned new techniques. I sold my jewelry at art and craft fairs, at local boutiques. I was even in stores in California and Minnesota for a time. Reneedesigns represented who I wanted to be.
Of course when you become a mother things fall by the wayside. They have to, its only natural. A child takes up so much of your time. But you also want to spend all of your time with them, to see what they will do next, what new thing will they learn.
As Bunny grew, I spent less and less time making jewerly. Occasionally I would have bursts of creativity and make a bunch of new pieces. But they would sit there waiting for me to photograph them and list them on line. Or waiting to go to the my local store. In fact they are still sitting there, except for occasionally when I pull them out to wear them.
I still get compliments on my work and it still gives me a thrill. Like maybe, just maybe I could do this. But I don't. I've taken all of my pieces out of the local store. I barely have any left in my etsy shop. When things expire, I don't relist them. Its like the store is slowly closing itself.
I might go crazy and list a bunch of things for the holidays or I might not. I don't know. But I am okay with that.
The funny thing is being a mom has made me more creative than ever before. I'm drawing and painting on a daily basis (usually crowded in a little pink plastic chair at a kid sized table). I've been crocheting myself a sweater. I've started (and started and restarted) a little cloche for Bunny to wear this winter. I've bought materials to make Bunny a dress. I've made some designs for a dinosaur t-shirt that are waiting to be made.
I'm having fun and enjoying myself in the artistic process. I feel like a kid again because I am experiencing all of this with my kid.
So I may no longer be reneedesigns. I may be butwhymommy. But my name is still Renee and I still design.