The End of an Era

Yesterday I changed my display name on my blog. I am no longer posting as reneedesigns, I am now officially butwhymommy.

Now this may not seem like much of a big deal, my blog name is But Why Mommy, I sign my name as butwhymommy when I comment on other blogs. It is who I am right now. I am butwhymommy because I am a mommy.

But it is strange for me. I started blogging in 2006 under the name reneedesigns. I have an etsy store also called ReneeDesigns. For two years it was how I identified myself. I was a jewelry designer and I my name is Renee. The two when hand in hand.

I had made jewerly for years and wanted it to be my profession. I took classes, I learned new techniques. I sold my jewelry at art and craft fairs, at local boutiques. I was even in stores in California and Minnesota for a time. Reneedesigns represented who I wanted to be.

Of course when you become a mother things fall by the wayside. They have to, its only natural. A child takes up so much of your time. But you also want to spend all of your time with them, to see what they will do next, what new thing will they learn.

As Bunny grew, I spent less and less time making jewerly. Occasionally I would have bursts of creativity and make a bunch of new pieces. But they would sit there waiting for me to photograph them and list them on line. Or waiting to go to the my local store. In fact they are still sitting there, except for occasionally when I pull them out to wear them.

I still get compliments on my work and it still gives me a thrill. Like maybe, just maybe I could do this. But I don't. I've taken all of my pieces out of the local store. I barely have any left in my etsy shop. When things expire, I don't relist them. Its like the store is slowly closing itself.

I might go crazy and list a bunch of things for the holidays or I might not. I don't know. But I am okay with that.

The funny thing is being a mom has made me more creative than ever before. I'm drawing and painting on a daily basis (usually crowded in a little pink plastic chair at a kid sized table). I've been crocheting myself a sweater. I've started (and started and restarted) a little cloche for Bunny to wear this winter. I've bought materials to make Bunny a dress. I've made some designs for a dinosaur t-shirt that are waiting to be made.

I'm having fun and enjoying myself in the artistic process. I feel like a kid again because I am experiencing all of this with my kid.

So I may no longer be reneedesigns. I may be butwhymommy. But my name is still Renee and I still design.

You Always Want What You Don't Have

As many of you know I live in a CrapShack which I hate for all of its brokeness. Its a curse I have to bear until I can get enough money to fix all of its problems. But by that time I will probably be dead or living in Del Boca Vista. So it will always be the CrapShack to me.

Because of this, I have developed a bad habit. I am addicted to glossy shelter magazines and design shows on television, what I like to call House Porn. I get so excited when my copy of Elle Decor arrives in my mail box. If I'm at the drug store or book store, I'll often pick up a copy of Archetectural Digest or Metropolitan Home.

Then when I have some free time, I run to my room to peruse its contents. I stare loveingly at its pages. Oohing and ahhing over the Viking Ranges, non-peed upon couches and working bathrooms. I save the magazines to read over and over again. Its truly a sickness. Then when I'm finally ready to part with them, I will tear out pictures of the kitchens, bedrooms, bathrooms and frankly the houses I want to live in. Someday.

The design shows do it for me too. I love to see the transformation of the home from plain (or plain ugly) to beautiful. And I dream that someday it will happen to me. But it won't because all of the shows seem to take place in California or "Big City". They won't take place in the heartland. But they could.

See I have an idea for a new show. You take some big time, fancy scmancy interior designer and architect away from their champagne and caviar clients and have them redo a house on a beer and brats budget. Its genius. Its got everything you need for good TV. Drama, could Kelly Wearstler or Katie Ridder handle the challenge? Tears from the homeowners and possibly the designers. And the first challenge? You guessed it fixing up the CrapShack.

So hopefully you'll be seeing this show on HGTV or Bravo sometime soon. And I'll be raking in the dough with my Executive Producer credit.