Friday, April 2, 2010

Paper Dolls

One piece of paper.

One small piece of paper.

In the adoption game, paper is everything. You need paper proof of your birth, your marriage, your health, your finances, your background, your fitness to be a parent. Your life is neatly summarized into a pile of paper.

You are judged on that paper. Are you good enough to be a parent? What do the papers say?

Paper can make or break you.

Your child is referred to you based on the paper you.

The ministry approves the referral based on the paper you and adds one more piece of paper to the mix.

The court finalizes the adoption based on the paper you and the ministry's approval.

Travel is approved based on the paper you, the ministry's approval and the court's finalization.

You can then finally hold your child in your arms while you wait for the final piece of paper to be issued, a visa allowing him to come home to America.

Paper is everything. The paper trail you build leads to your child. If everything goes smoothly, the paper trail is easy to walk. It takes time but there is an ending point on the paper trail.

Paper is everything. Every piece of paper is important. If one piece of paper is missing or misplaced, this paper trail becomes a roller coaster ride.

If a piece of paper is missing, your court case gets adjourned one, maybe two times.

If your name is erroneously put on a piece of paper you are informed you passed court when you did not. You are so high.

When the paper error is discovered, you come careening back towards earth at 100 miles per hour.

When the misplaced paper is found, you are notified that you have passed court. Your travel is approved. You have climbed so, so very high.

When a piece of paper goes missing, maybe the same one, maybe another, the ministry refuses to issue a birth certificate or a passport for your child. Your travel is revoked. Your euphoria is gone. You only have the terror of crashing back to earth.

Paper is everything.

One little piece of paper can unite you with your child.

One little piece of paper can keep you from holding your child in your arms.

One little piece of paper can break your heart into a million pieces.

(About two hours after I published my last post about bringing Lion home, we were informed that another piece of paper had gone missing and that our travel had been revoked. We will not be leaving in two weeks. We do not know when we can see our son.)


Logical Libby said...

I am so sorry. Just know the paper trail will soon lead to your boy.

Meg said...

We hope very soon..I'm sure you're ready to fly over and help them find it!!! Hang in there!

Heather said...

honey my heart is breaking into a million pieces for you right now. Soon you will hold your Lion in your arms.

Altho I know that soon is not soon enough.


Kelly L said...

So very sorry... I remember all the paperwork - the heartbreak - the uncertainty.. I will keep you in my prayers...

Love to you, from an adoptive mom of 2


PrincessJenn said...

My heart breaks for you. I can't even begin to imagine what you must be going through.
I really hope they get it sorted and you can bring him home sooner rather than later.

Michelle said...

I can't believe what a rollercoaster this journey has been for you....Every time you get bad news my heart breaks for you because I know just how badly you want Lion in your arms. My positive thoughts and prayers are coming your way in abundance that those morons stop losing your paperwork soon and you can go get your son!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

No! Ugh - and I just commented on your last post... I'm so sorry. I have no words.

anymommy said...

I'm thinking of you Renee, hoping you found joy and love and strength in your family this weekend, even though I know how it hurts that your son is missing. XO.

AmazingGreis said...

I'm so sorry!!! Will be thinking about you and hoping that the paper is found and your travel can be rescheduled. (((hugs)))

Christy said...

I'm thinking of a lot and sending you positive thoughts...hope you get good news much sooner than later. I can't imagine how hard this is for you all!

Kari said...

I'm sure it's hard for you to believe...but joy is right around the corner for you. I can feel it.