Thursday, January 19, 2012

A Moment

Our relationship has been tough lately. You are growing up so fast, hurtling towards 3 at a breakneck pace. You can do it, you want to do it, everything, anything in your own way, on your own terms.

You listen. I know you hear me. I know you understand. You are smart, very smart. Your brain processes the information and chooses to do the opposite, sometimes in outright defiance, sometimes because you feel your way is better.

The word no, or any correction in behavior brings forth a storm. You immediately lash out, hitting, biting, kicking or looking for something to destroy. I am the frequent target, it's only natural given how much time we spend together.

There are times I wonder if I am helping or hurting the situation. I know how to calm you, it could be so easy to soothe you and move on with our day. But often exhaustion and frayed nerves win out, I have to make a point. You will have a time out. You will finish it, even if it takes all night.

So here we are, both of us warily circling the other like boxers looking for a weakness. Time that could be spent playing is spent fighting, trying to win control of the situation. It's exhausting and it does not bring out the best in either of us. Resentments creep in. You run to daddy. I gravitate towards Bunny.

Just when I am ready to throw in the towel, it happens. On one of our many visits to Starbucks, you fling yourself into my lap, climbing up to make yourself comfortable. A finger goes into your mouth. The other hand reaches for my ear. You are calm.

I relax. The breath I was holding waiting for a tantrum is expelled. I see you, the real you. I press my face into your forehead. Tears prick my eyes. I whisper silent prayers seeking forgiveness.

How could I have ever doubted you? How could I have ever doubted myself? You own my heart.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Magic Snow

This winter in Wisconsin, my kids were yearning for snow. Every day Lion would ask if it was going to snow. Every day I would tell him no.

Instead of snow, we enjoyed 40s and even 50s. We went to the zoo. We played outside. We had loads of fun. But we missed the snow.

Finally last week the snow came. The kids were overjoyed. Snow pants, boots, hats and mittens were donned so they could get down to the business of playing. Tracks were followed. Angels were made. But most of all they wanted snowballs, oh how they wanted snowballs.

Snowballs to throw at trees and cars. Snowballs to throw at daddy. Snowballs to throw at mommy. Snowballs to throw at eachother.

When it was time to come inside, the snowballs had to come too. They must be saved for later, for that one special moment when it will be just right to throw. So the snowballs went into the freezer.

As the week wore on, our collection of freezer snowballs grew.
"This one is perfect momma."

"Dis insyde momma. I wov dis one."

"Momma look a heart shaped snowball."

"Maybe we could save enough snowballs to build a huge fort. Wouldn't that be cool?"

I think we are going to need a bigger freezer.

Monday, January 16, 2012


Bunny is six.

She is growing up so fast. Her days are filled with kindergarten, learning and friends. She runs around the playground pretending she is a dog. She laughs, she plays, she has fun.

At home she draws and plays with her Littlest Pet Shop. She makes up songs and stories. She shares her knowledge with us. She is silly.

She tolerates Lion, "he may be a jerk" but he's her brother. At times when we offer to do something with just her, she asks to include Lion because she loves him.

She is such an amazing girl. Everyday I am so proud to be her mother. And everyday I pray for her family in China, I will never forget them.

Happy Birthday Bunny!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Momma, What Would Happen If . . .?

Momma, Daddy and I are going to discover a new planet and call it Hubble. Hubble is such a funny word. Hubble. Hubble.

Daddy? What planet would crash into the Sun last?

Daddy? Is Pluto in our solar system? Is it a dwarf planet? Why isn't it a planet anymore?

What's that red thing on Jupiter? How many moons does Jupiter have?

Daddy? How do scientists discover new things? Could we discover something?

What would happen if . . .

The questions come at a rapid pace. The thirst for knowledge drives her. She has to know everything there is to know in this exact moment. Later is not good enough.

We answer the questions as best we can with the help of Professor Google. Answers are accepted. She quiets, returning to play. Her animals utilize the knowledge she has gained in their travels to distant planets.

Part of Just Write at The Extraordinary Ordinary