Lately it seems that I cannot find time to do everything that needs to be done. Its not that I have taken on too much, I haven't. Its more that I do not have the energy to get things done.
Sleep has been fleeting for me lately. When I call for it to come, it ignores my pleas. Instead it waits just out of reach. It will come when it is ready. But more often than not when sleep finally comes my way, another calls demanding my attention. I cannot ignore her cries. I can sleep another time.
The exhaustion spills over into my waking hours. Sometimes its all I can do to make it through to nap time so I can rest. But nap time has been a struggle lately. It appears that only one resident of this house believes that nap time is a good idea. Unfortunately, if the hold out does not agree, there is no nap. No rest for me again.
Certain things must be accomplished during the day - we must eat, we must brush our teeth, we must . . . Well maybe that is it for necessity, the rest is just optional. We should get dressed, mom should shower, we should leave the house, we should play silly dino games, we should read books, we should paint masterpieces, mom should write in her blog, mom should do laundry, mom should clean, mom should . . .
Or we could just sit on the couch in our pjs tucked under blankets.
That last option is always the most tempting. But I feel like I should get somethings done off the earlier list. I just can't figure out how to get the mom stuff done. The Bunny stuff is much easier to accomplish as she is often demanding a certain activity take place at a certain time. If the activity is not commenced right at the moment she feels it should be, her demanding will be come more forceful. If need be she will forcefully pull me away from whatever I am doing.
So my things fall to the wayside. I add them to the list in my head. I don't dare write the list down for fear that it would be too long, too overwhelming. I will get back to the task or project later, eventually. Unless something more pressing takes over and it usually does.
Unless sleep finally beckons me to join him.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
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4 comments:
Once again, you have my thoughts on your blog. I am "off the wagon" as far as my whole "balance, structure, schedule plan" goes. I completely agree with what you said and I am trying like hell to figure things out too!
Oh Renee! Times like this are rough.
These days won't last forever...I know that's little solace at 2am, though.
I feel like this on so many levels... And I don't think we are alone.
Exactly. Out of balance and the days slip by. At night, I lie awake and think about how I could change it the next day, get more control, etc. Then, another few days slip by.
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