One Year Later

One year ago today I woke up on in the morning and my world was completely different. I didn't get ready for work. I didn't drive Bunny to day care. I didn't spend all day at a desk helping people with their problems.

One year ago I officially became a stay at home mom. I had no idea what to do. Since I'd been on leave after adopting Bunny, I'd never spent this much time alone with her. Was I going to like it? Was she going to like me? Was she going to miss daycare and being with all of her friends? Was I going to go crazy with no adult interaction?

I didn't really have a plan on how this was going to go. I lost my job and decided not to look for another one. After Bunny came home, my heart really wasn't in the work world. If I would have looked for another job, I would have done my research on the companies, the jobs available and decided which ones to apply for.

But what kind of research can you do to stay at home? I mean its your house, you live there. You know all about it. Also its your kid, you live with her. You should know all about her. Right? Well yes but it didn't mean I was any less freaked out.

None of my friends in town had kids so I didn't have a built in support network. I called a friend in Chicago who stayed at home and asked her what she did? Do you have things planned every day? Do you just hang out? Help! Please. She gave me some good advice.

I found a wonderful music class which we are still taking one year later. I found a play group. I joined a moms' group (which I never really got into and dropped out of). I got a memebership to the kids' museum. And away we went.

Most of the time it was great. I loved the freedom of hanging out in our pjs whenver we wanted. I loved to be able to go somewhere only when we wanted. It was better in the warmer weather when we could run around outside.

I marveled at my daughter, at her ability to learn anything and everything. I found myself learning things too (and not just about dinosaurs and lizards). I fell in love with her more than I ever thought possible.

There have been times in the past few months when I've contimplated going back to work. Not because I want to but because I might have to. But we've crunched the numbers and tightened our belts so it wasn't necessary.

I don't know what the future holds but I know that I have loved the past year. After working for so many years, I can finally say that I love my job.