So the internet was down from Wednesday night through last night. I freaked out. How could I check my e-mail? I had blogs to read. I needed to Twitter (okay maybe I didn't need to Twitter but I wanted to). I needed to post on my blog.
I needed the internet but it was not there.
Well when I came home from dinner at my parents house, the internet was back up and running. I should have been jumping for joy. But I wasn't. I checked my e-mail, nothing iteresting. Tweeted once (see you really don't need to tweet). Read one blog of the 167 waiting to be read (note to self don't add anymore blogs to reader until you clean it up). Then I turned off the computer and went to watch TV.
I didn't even check my blog stats or look at my blog. I had been chastised by more than one person for not posting the last two days, but I still didn't start a new post. I realized I had nothing to say. I'd started a few posts and abandoned them. Some I may go back to, the rest I gave up on for good. But there was nothing inside just waiting to come out, nothing that needed to be said.
I don't know why I'm feeling like this. Its not just writer's block. Its more of a general malaise. We are off schedule, there was no music class, no play date this week and gymnastics was skipped because Bunny had a cold. Maybe its because everyone here is sick. Maybe its all the disruption from the construction. Maybe its because I've been bad cop this week and Bunny has said on more than one occasion that she doesn't like me. Maybe its . . . or maybe its not.
I feel like all the dust the workers raised has settled in my brain. Filling in all the crevices. Numbing me. I need to shake it off but I can't. I'm too tired. I just want . . . I don't know what I want.