Jealousy

Jealousy is a strange emotion. Sometimes it just takes over. You can be going through a normal day, minding your own business and all of a sudden you see something or someone out of the corner of your eye and the green eyed monster hits.

You want what they have. You want to be where they are. You want to be who they are.

Jealousy reminds you of what you don't have. Sure you can probably be happy without it. You've been happy without it until now. But then you are reminded of that thing or that person that you desire and you feel like you cannot possibly live without it.

When I see scenes like this I am so jealous.



I want to be them, sleeping in the sun without a care in the world.

The Trouble With Cats

You're probably thinking "Great another post about her stupid peeing cat." But no, this is actually not about cat pee at all. If you would like to read about cat pee, check the archives. I'm sure there's one or two posts about it.

A while back I mentioned our other cat Detroit who is kind of evil because she likes to bite. She is half-Siamese and I believe its a Siamese thing, rather than an evil thing. But she bites if you approach her wrong, get anywhere near her face or just generally annoy her in any way.

When we adoped Bunny I was worried about how Detroit would react to Bunny. Would she try to attack her to establish dominance? Would she bite my sweet baby?

My fears were unfounded for the first two years. Detroit was terrified of Bunny. She didn't quite know what to make of this creature that had invaded her home. At first Bunny would crawl after her so Detroit would run away. This became standard operating procedure, Detroit saw Bunny coming toward her, Detroit would run away.

As Bunny got older, we warned her not to pet Miss Troit as she called her. She could pet Tabasco all she wanted but not Miss Troit. So she didn't. You could tell Bunny was curious but she listened and avoided her.

Until last week. Last week there was an "incident". Apparently Detroit had wandered into the living room and was laying on the back of the love seat. Bunny was playing with dinosaurs on the love seat too. I was in the kitchen making dinner and Bubs was sitting on the other couch talking on the phone. No one noticed Detroit at first.

But then Bunny saw her and decided to pet her. She lifted her little hand directly towards Detroit's head in clear violation of the established petting rules. Detroit did not like that one bit. So in an attemtp to protect herself from the "creature" she bit her on the hand.

Lucky for Bunny she had only one little mark (not like the fang marks I got last time). But that was enough for her. Now Bunny is terrified (or at least dramatically scared) of Detroit.

When she sees her, Bunny will scream "No Miss Troit" at the top of her lungs. Or she will let loose with one of those high pitched screams that only toddlers can make. This usually does the trick and the cat high tails it out of there. But if she does not move and dares to remain in the same room, Bunny will stand there whining for us to carry her past Detroit.

Clearly this cannot happen. We cannot have a child so scared of a cat that she will avoid entire rooms because the cat is there. So we hold her hand and march past the cat in an effort to show her that Detroit will not jump out and bite her again. Bunny has now gotten to the point that she can walk on the other side of the room from the cat. But she will not take her eyes off of her just to make sure nothing will happen.

We try and reassure her that Detroit will not attack. That in fact, Detroit wants absolutely nothing to do with her. That she only wishes to go back to their previous relationship of complete and utter indiference.

It may take a while but I hope we get there. I can't take any more trouble with cats.

Its a Leopard Dino Cat

Ah the joys of asking a two year old what they want to be for Halloween when they don't really understand what it means. For weeks Bunny said she wanted to be a kitty. Great, we've got the black clothes so we just had to buy ears and a tail. Done and done.

But I wondered, wouldn't she want to be a dinosaur. She's obsessed with dinosaurs. Should I just buy a dino costume? So I asked her and she said no, she wanted to be a kitty. Ok I'm holding you to that.

Then she said she wanted to be a tiger. I can work with that. I could buy a orange sweatshirt and some black felt. I could do that, but I was feeling kind of lazy. How would you like to be a leopard? You've already got the coat. Ok, leopard it is.

Then Sunday rolls around and we are getting dressed for trick or treat. Come on Bunny, lets put on your ears and tail. "Why, momma?" Because you are going to be a leopard kitty. "No I wanna be a dino." What? Why did I listen to you? I should have just bought the dino costume and been done with it.

But Bubs swooped in to save the day. You are going to be a leopard dino, he proclaimed. "Oh ok, daddy. I love leopard dinos."

Bet you've never seen a Leopard Dino Cat before.

Cat Scratch Fever

We have two cats in our house. His and hers cats if you will.

Bubs adopted Detroit before he met me. And if you must know Detroit got her name from some stupid bet thingy with his ex-girlfriend, and yes it is a stupid name.

I adopted Tabasco when I was in law school, after I had met Bubs. And since we are telling how our cats got their names, Tabasco was named after a race horse, Tabasco Cat (because I'm all original and stuff).

Not long after I adopted Tabasco, Bubs graduated and moved back home for a while. Since his mom was allergic to cats, I took guardianship of Detroit. So she has been my cat for about 12 years now. But she is still Bubs' cat and always will be.

My cat is awesome. He's cute. He's cuddly. He is basically a dog in cat's clothing, he comes to the door when you get home. He'll follow you around, just waiting to get petted. Yes he's a bit dumb, a condition which I know to be genetic because my friends have his siblings and they are dumb too (hello Oliver!). But he's a cute dumb.




Now if you've read this blog in the past, you are probably saying to yourself "Isn't he the cat that pees on your stuff?" Yes, yes he is. But the traits I've listed above make the peeing tolerable because he's just so darn cute.

Now Bubs' cat is the devil. Well not the actual devil but pretty darn close. She's mean. She's nasty. She doesn't like people. She bites. But she is a beautiful cat.



Every so often she will come to you and let (demand that) you pet her. Yesterday was one of those days. I apparently forgot that she was evil so I decided to brush her. Everything was going along swimmingly, she was purring and seemed to be enjoying herself. But then I caught some matted fur and it was game over. She reached over and bit my hand. Hard. So hard it drew blood.



See I told you she was evil.

An Open Letter

Anymommy has been writing letters lately and she has inspired me to write one of my own.

Dear Makers of Anti-Icky Poo:

I have sung your praises to the heavens. Scads of people now know your product thanks to my little blog. I was wondering if I could get a little love in return.

You see my boy cat won't stop peeing in my house. In fact last night he peed right under my computer table while I was sitting there. Luckily my feet were not under the table nor will the ever be again.

So we are running low on your wonderous product. Please, oh please won't you see it in your hearts to give a girl a free sample or twelve. I promise to drop Anti-Icky Poo in my blog at least once a week. Given the rate that Sir Pees-A-Lot is going, it won't be a problem.

Thanks,
Renee

Life in But Why Mommyland

Tabasco aka Sir Pees-A-Lot



Detroit

Anti-Icky Poo

Yesterday afternoon I thought today's blog post would be about my adventures as Gulliver in the land of Lilliput. You see I was felled by about 3700 plastic dinos who then proceeded to climb all over me for the better part of an hour. It was awesome.

But then I discovered that the cat had peed on the sofa again. And not just on the bottom part but all along the top of the sofa where you rest your head. Don't ask how I found out, I just did and it wasn't pretty. So now I have a pee ridden sofa. Part of me is pissed off yet another part is glad because I hate that ugly sofa. But all things being equal we can't afford another sofa so we have to clean it.

We busted out the Anti-Icky Poo we purchased from the Vet. They swear by it and I assume they have lots of cats peeing everywhere. It smells better than the other stuff and seems to be working. So we'll see if it happens again. I don't want to have to change the cat's name from Tabasco Kitty Pants to Sir Pees-A-Lot.

Right after we had sprayed the couch with the Anti-Icky Poo (and yes I'll probably type that a few more times because its fun to say), the power went out. It was kind of a stormy warm night so I wasn't surprised. But Bunny had just gone down in her crib when the power flashed a few times and went out. She was totally freaked out. Bubs went in to calm her down, while I looked for alternative lighting sources.

This is where I'm lucky my friend Beth sells Partylite and I buy way more candles then I need. I was able to put candles in all the rooms that needed them, so thanks Beth. But I discovered that none of our flashlights work. I had to go to the store for more or else we would have been carrying candles around like old timey folk.

When I went to the store I was again reminded that we are not on the same power grid as our neighbors across the street. They, of course, had full power. Their lights were on. Their fans and air conditioners worked. Their big screen TVs taunting me as I looked at their houses. I hated them.

Bubs and I had to sit by candlelight. We thought we were going to have to read or God forbid talk to eachother when I remembered we had a portable DVD player. We were saved. I popped in Raiders of the Lost Ark* and we marvled at the general bad-assedness of Harrison Ford until the lights went on two hours later.

So that is why I am not waxing rhapsodic about my capture by the dinos.

*I have not seen the 4th Indiana Jones movie. I love me some Indiana Jones and I want my image of him ruined by a crappy movie. If you think its worth seeing, let me know.

Test Run

So we've been working up to potty training Bunny. I'm not quite sure she's ready but I've been giving it the hard sell. We've been talking about the potty and she's even picked out a pair of big girl undies. We are getting there and I hope to start within the next month or so.

Part of the training process is just going cold turkey from the diapers. Well of course that leads to lots of accidents. Accidents means lots and lots of cleaning which of course is my favorite thing to do. I've gotten some good advice from bloggers like any mommy (I may have to steal her messter map). But nothing can prepare you for the real thing, except cleaning cat pee out of your carpet and couch.

It went down like this. We had just gotten home from my parents house. Bubs and Bunny were sitting on the couch taking off her shoes when Tabasco started to spray the very couch they were sitting on. Cat pee was everywhere, the couch, the carpet but luckily not on them. Tabasco has done this before when we first brought Bunny home and we thought we had dealt with it. But apparently not.

So I sent them off to bed, cracked a beer and commenced cat pee clean up. I got out every cleanser I could find. I rubbed, I scrubbed and I sprayed the sh*t out of the couch and carpet. I had bought this product called Urine Gone which is supposed to remove all smell and stain from pet and human "accidents". I followed the directions to the letter and hoped that it worked. Because the last thing I need in this here CrapShack is to have an unusable couch. We've already been displaced from the basement, we need the living room.

I went downstairs this morning and found . . . a chemical smell. Well chemicals are better than pee so that's good. So then I sprayed the heck out of the "affected area" with Febreeze and it smells better.

Cross your fingers with me that this clean up works and the vet can help us with Tabasco's issues. Because I don't need to be cleaning up after both Bunny and Tabasco or else I might lose my ever-lovin mind (or what's left of it.)

Cage Match

Lately it seems like Bunny and Tabasco, our boy cat, are interested in joining the Mixed Martial Arts league. Well it seems that Bunny is more interested and Tabasco is her chosen sparring partner.

It all starts out innocently enough. She wants to pet the cat. Most of the time he lets her but sometimes he doesn't. After petting, she will grab his tail, paw, face or hit him with some nearby object. Why? Because she's two, because she wants to, because he looked at her funny. Who knows. But this behavior has been the cause of 90% of her time outs.

Now Tabasco is no kung fu kitty but he could defend himself if he really wanted to. You see he has claws. One swipe of his claws on her hand and Bunny would leave him alone. But he's a lover not a fighter so he just sits there and takes it or else runs away.

But yesterday he exacted his revenge. Bunny was eating a saltine cracker in the living room. Well Tabasco has this thing with salty snacks. If you are sitting down on the couch while eating it, he will climb all over you to get at it. He will literally sit on your chest and try to grab it out of your mouth.

Poor Bunny was unaware of this when she was eating her cracker. Because she is closer to his level, Tabasco was all over her. Jumping up and trying to swat at the cracker. Well this freaked the shit out of Bunny. She was screaming no over and over again. Finally she ran to me for help. Since I was in the bathroom brushing my hair at the time, she ran in and we closed the door, foiling Tabasco's efforts.

When she finished her cracker and we left the safety of the bathroom, she just stared at the cat and yelled "Tabasco no!" She's been giving him sideways glances ever since, like she doesn't really trust him anymore.

Will this stop her from hitting him? Probably not but now she knows he can get her back.

Cat puke

This is something I have lived with my entire life with cats. My beloved boy cat Tabasco has always been a puker. He has some sort of allergy or GI issue but we have always joked that he is bullimic because he eats so fast and like such a pig that its inevitable that he'll puke it out. Luckily for me he ususally pukes in the kitchen or on the hardwood floors so it is easier to clean.

But lately Bubs' cat, Detroit(yes I know its a stupid name for a cat, there is a story but I don't want to get into it here), has joined the puke parade. She is 13 or 14 yrs old and we think she is getting sick but the Vet can't pin it down exactly. We've been giving her wet food because she was losing weight. She gets this in the morning and evening and will herd you into the kitchen and circle you until she gets fed. We were out of her normal food from the vet so Bubs picked up some stuff from the grocery store, which she loved. But when she went back to a different flavor of the vet brand the puking commenced.

But being the siamese princess she is, Detroit has chosen to only puke on the carpet. And if you don't catch it right away, well it stains. Luckily for me, Bunny is the champion at noticing cat puke. Any little mark or stain and she will yell "Cat puke!!!" at the top of her lungs. So thanks to Bunny's eagle eyes I spent 15 minutes trying to get fresh puke out of the living room carpet this morning. Fun.

Post Script: Not 2 minutes after I hit publish, Tabasco puked in the kitchen. Man, when it rains, it pours in this house.