The Lion King Comes Home

The journey started so many months ago with a piece of paper, an envelope and a stamp. That first piece of paper was followed by so many more. Paper ruled my life. It was an emotional roller coaster that I was not sure I would survive.

The paper roller coaster finally ended and a true journey started.

It started with a plane ride. Three plane rides full of anxious joy or joyous anxiety. (You know the kind when you are so excited and terrified that you think you will burst out of your skin or puke.) There is not so much to do on a plane except think. Thinking about what it will be like, how he will be.

I thought and thought about it. In fact it was more of an obsession. I could not wait to see him. It was torture to got to the hotel next to the care center knowing that we would have to wait some more to see him.

When the time finally arrived, all of the families walked to the care center and waited in the main room to meet their children for the first time. They brought the children in one by one. The infants were carried and the toddlers walked. The parents waited with anxious joy until they were able to hold their children.

Lion was brought in towards the end. I could see him walking down the stairs. He was nervous and crying. I do not know what he thought or felt at that moment but he was not happy. When he was placed in my arms for the first time, he cried, screamed and pushed away. He was looking for someone, anyone but me.

It was not the moment I pictured but I was prepared. I did my best to reassure him but he would not be comforted. We were told that he had bonded with one of the nannies. I was relieved. The fact that he had formed an attachment meant that he could transfer the attachment to us.

I was relieved but the next two days of visits to the care center were difficult. While other families were playing with their children, Lion would cry, hit and bite Frink and myself. He was always looking for a nanny to come and save him. We did the best we could, holding and rocking him. "Ishi, ishi, ishi" I repeated those words over and over. "It's ok. It's ok. It's ok." At times I was repeating it more to myself than him.

Finally on June 15, 2010 (after a visit to the region where he was born and a visit with his birth father - a story I will not tell here but keep for him) we took custody of our little Lion. This is the day I choose to celebrate as our family day. This is the day we became a family with Lion.

Walking out of the doors of the care center and back to our hotel caused a shift in our relationship. It was as if he saw us for the first time. He looked at us in this new environment and thought "okay it's them". He did not fight us. He did not look for someone else. He did not cry. Instead, he began to relax. He began to allow us in.

It was that time, spent in a hotel room 7900 miles from home, that our family bond began. The journey that began with a piece of paper ended with a little boy sleeping in our arms.

We were his. He was ours. We were a familly.

It Goes To Eleven

Eleven years.

Its hard to believe that time can go by so quickly. It seems like only yesterday.

Eleven years ago I was so nervous. I stood before a crowd of our friends and family with you. I listened as my father and your mother performed the ceremony. I promised to love you, to cherish you, to be with you forever. You and I became Us.

These eleven years we have shared together have been easy and difficult. They have been happy and sad. We have had our ups and downs, our disappointments and our joys.

But most of all these eleven years have been wonderful because I have been able to walk through this world with you by my side. So thank you for being you, for loving me, for chosing me. I love you.

One Year

In the past two days, I've started and abandoned several posts about Hamstack newspapers, about my budding scientist, about coming out of our cocoon and experiencing nature again. I tried to write them but the time was not there to fully flesh them out. Maybe I'll go back, maybe I won't.

Those abandoned posts sent me on a little search through my archives. How many posts had I started and abandoned? What were they about? Why did I stop writing them?

As I was doing this exercise in self-reflection I noticed something, something big. Its my blogiversary. That's right. I started this little experiment one year ago yesterday (to be exact).

When I started I had no idea what I was doing or why I was even blogging. Partly it was to record Bunny's life for our friends and family who did not get to see her on a regular basis. Partly it was because I felt a bit isolated as a new stay at home mom. Partly it was because I have a lot of crazy shit in my head and I needed a venue to get it out.

Whatever the reasons were, this little blog has been one of the best things I've ever done. I've discovered quite a bit about myself. How much I love writing. How much I love connecting to others through what I type out on my keyboard. I've made friends through this blog. I feel like this blog has given me so much more than I've given it.

So thanks for stopping by. Thanks for reading what I've written. Thanks for leaving comments. Thanks for just being the incredible people you are. If it weren't for you, I probably wouldn't have made it this far.

P.S. I know that gifts are not required on a blogiversary but I'm going to ask a big favor . . . could you please press that shiny button on the side bar and vote for me. You will have to register and set up an account but its worth it (to me). I've only got 11 votes so far and I'd love to get a few more for my blogiversary. Thanks again.

10 Years Later

Today I won't have my usual Friday Finds. We are leaving on vacation for the long weekend and I am up to my eyeballs in preparations. Because of our vacation, there will be no posts until Tuesday (but I am sure there will be tons of stuff to write about when we get back).

What I really want to write about today, is my wonderful Bubs in honor of our 10th wedding anniversary tomorrow. So here goes

Dear Bubs,

Thank you for 10 wonderful years. When I look back on our wedding pictures, I see two people who are so young, are very much in love and are filled with hope. Now 10 years later we are a bit older and wiser, our days are filled with joy and hope and I am more in love with you now than ever.

I realize that I am the lucky one here. You are so supportive of me. You believe so strongly in me that you have given me the gift of being able to stay home with Bunny. You have stood by me in the hard times, letting me lean on you for strength. You always want to make me happy.

You are a wonderful father whom Bunny adores. I love that you have your Daddy and Bunny Saturdays, it gives me an opportunity to recharge my batteries and gives you precious time with her.

You know that the answer to the question "Where do you want to go to dinner?" is always La Fuente. You make the best salad dressing and pancakes and are an omlet maker extrodinare. You do the dishes after I cook dinner.

While you do have your faults - like playing in 10 million different fantasy sports leagues (fantasy golf? really?), you don't like bloody marys, ketchup, peanut butter or sauces of any kind. These faults are really minor and kind of funny.

No, what I remember and cherish most during these 10 years is the love that we share.

Thank you for 10 wonderful years. I look forward to the next 50.