Africa on My Mind

Africa has been on my mind lately. The famine in Somalia and the food crisis in parts of Kenya and Ethiopia are heartbreaking. This crisis in on top of the challenges such as poverty, HIV, malaria and TB that the continent is already facing.

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know a part of my soul is in Africa. When I hear of the problems, I cannot help but think of Lion's birth family, of my family. The phrase but for the grace of God takes on a whole new meaning.

I cannot sit silently by. I must speak out about these problems. I must raise awareness.

So today, I encourage you to learn all you can about the famine in Somalia and how to help. I also encourage you to follow the journey of several bloggers who are currently in Kenya learning first hand what life is like for families in the developing world.

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
— Margaret Mead

The Lion King Comes Home

The journey started so many months ago with a piece of paper, an envelope and a stamp. That first piece of paper was followed by so many more. Paper ruled my life. It was an emotional roller coaster that I was not sure I would survive.

The paper roller coaster finally ended and a true journey started.

It started with a plane ride. Three plane rides full of anxious joy or joyous anxiety. (You know the kind when you are so excited and terrified that you think you will burst out of your skin or puke.) There is not so much to do on a plane except think. Thinking about what it will be like, how he will be.

I thought and thought about it. In fact it was more of an obsession. I could not wait to see him. It was torture to got to the hotel next to the care center knowing that we would have to wait some more to see him.

When the time finally arrived, all of the families walked to the care center and waited in the main room to meet their children for the first time. They brought the children in one by one. The infants were carried and the toddlers walked. The parents waited with anxious joy until they were able to hold their children.

Lion was brought in towards the end. I could see him walking down the stairs. He was nervous and crying. I do not know what he thought or felt at that moment but he was not happy. When he was placed in my arms for the first time, he cried, screamed and pushed away. He was looking for someone, anyone but me.

It was not the moment I pictured but I was prepared. I did my best to reassure him but he would not be comforted. We were told that he had bonded with one of the nannies. I was relieved. The fact that he had formed an attachment meant that he could transfer the attachment to us.

I was relieved but the next two days of visits to the care center were difficult. While other families were playing with their children, Lion would cry, hit and bite Frink and myself. He was always looking for a nanny to come and save him. We did the best we could, holding and rocking him. "Ishi, ishi, ishi" I repeated those words over and over. "It's ok. It's ok. It's ok." At times I was repeating it more to myself than him.

Finally on June 15, 2010 (after a visit to the region where he was born and a visit with his birth father - a story I will not tell here but keep for him) we took custody of our little Lion. This is the day I choose to celebrate as our family day. This is the day we became a family with Lion.

Walking out of the doors of the care center and back to our hotel caused a shift in our relationship. It was as if he saw us for the first time. He looked at us in this new environment and thought "okay it's them". He did not fight us. He did not look for someone else. He did not cry. Instead, he began to relax. He began to allow us in.

It was that time, spent in a hotel room 7900 miles from home, that our family bond began. The journey that began with a piece of paper ended with a little boy sleeping in our arms.

We were his. He was ours. We were a familly.

Next To My Heart

The first time I saw those mother's necklaces with the child's names stamped on various sized discs, I couldn't wait to get one. I had one all picked out for mother's day. For some unknown reason I waited to order it. (It's a good thing too considering we kept Lion's birth name instead of our original choice).

On the plane to Ethiopia, I found out why I had hesitated. I met a woman who had adopted kids from Ethiopia and was returning to do some mission work. She had the most beautiful necklace, an African pendant with a heart where Ethiopia was. Even though I had yet to experience Ethiopia and the effect it would have on me, I knew I needed one. I wanted to show my son and others that a piece of my heart would always be in Ethiopia. Upon our return, I immediately bought one and have not taken it off since.

Bunny would often look at the necklace and ask if there was a China one. "You love China too momma, right?" she would ask. "Yes darling. I love China because you were born there. China is in my heart too." "Then why don't you have a China necklace, momma?" I had no good answer. I needed to get one.

My necklace arrived on Monday and now I can carry the birth countries of my children next to my heart always.



My children did not grow in my body, they grew in my heart. And now thanks to the lovely Tracy at JunkPosse I can show the world.

Imagine

Imagine this is your house


Imagine your husband is a farmer, plowing the land with his oxen trying to make a living for your family.


Imagine this is how you carry what your family needs.


Imagine, if you are lucky, this is your means of transportation


Imagine that you have to walk for miles to the nearest water source to obtain water for your family. Imagine having to carry the 40 pound jugs of water on your back for the long return trip.

Imagine having to leave your children at home to make the journey for water. Imagine that you could not leave your younger children so you have your older daughter make the journey. Imagine that your daughter would often miss school because of this work. Imagine that your daughter could be abducted or raped during this long journey.

Imagine that the nearest source of water is a small unprotected pond or river. Imagine that you share that pond with animals. Imagine that waste from the surrounding areas is washed into your pond during the rainy season.

Imagine that the water you or your daughter worked so hard to bring home is contaminated. Imagine how the contaminated water could make you or your family sick. Imagine that your children's bodies are not strong enough to fight off diarrhea or another water related illness. Imagine that you had to bury your child because you could not provide him or her with clean water.

Imagine that there is a drought. Imagine that the water supply your family relies on dries up.

If you live in rural Ethiopia, you do not have to imagine this at all. It is a fact of your life. In Ethiopia, only 33% of the population has access to safe water. That is not acceptable.

Ethiopia holds a special place in my heart. The beauty of the country, the beauty of the people that I met will forever stay with me. When I saw that the theme for Blog Action Day was water, I knew this was my chance to do something, however small, for the country I love.

I want to bring clean water to my son's homeland. I want to insure that his birth family and others like them, do not have to travel so far for clean, safe water.

I am asking you to join me.

Not for Lion

Now that he has gotten used to us, our little Lion is quite the active boy. In fact the phrase I've said the most recently is "Not for Lion! Not for Lion!"

Let's throw everything off the nightstand. Not the clock! Not mommy's glasses! Not daddy's inhaler! Let's open and close the closet door 100 times. Let's throw the remote control across the room. Oooh look a camera. Not for Lion, give mommy the camera!

It is going to be an interesting experience for Bunny to have such an active brother. I have a feeling that she will not be pleased. But I know she'll get used to it, eventually.

Lion Is Coming Home!!

We got the call on Monday that we had passed court and that we were going to be included in the April travel group. This means that we are leaving in less than two weeks to bring home our son! I cannot believe this. Everything we have waited so long for is finally coming true.

I was so excited. I called and e-mailed friends and family. I shared the news on Twitter and FaceBook. I thought I had covered all the bases but I hadn't. I forgot to tell you, my faithful readers of this blog. For that I am sorry. You have followed our story for a long time and you deserved to know when something good finally happened.

And this really is the best news of all.

A Love Letter

Dear Lion,

Do you mind if I call you Lion. I have read your story thus far and the name seems to fit you. You are brave. You are strong. You are a survivor.

When I saw your picture, I fell in love. I knew, in that instant, that we were destined to be together. I have spent the moments since, studying the lines of your face, staring in to your beautiful eyes. I have your face memorized. I can close my eyes and see you before me, laughing, smiling, calling my name. You are mine and I am yours.

But I see that I have gotten a little ahead of myself. You do not know me. We have not been properly introduced.

I am your mother.

And you are my son.

My son. My son. My son.

I repeat those words over and over like a mantra as if by speaking those words you can hear me calling you. Those words connect us through time and space. We are one you and I despite the miles between us. 7,500 miles, oceans, mountains, continents, languages separate us.

They separate us now but we will be together soon. You will know me, know my face as surely as I know yours. We will be a family forever.

I used to call you Turtle, but I was wrong. You were not slow, I was. I delayed and stalled, dragging my feet. I didn't know why. But now I do. I was waiting for you, my son.

And now I must wait a little while longer to hold you in my arms. This may be the hardest wait of all. But I know that it will be worth it because you and I will be together, forever.

My lion. My son.

Love,
Your Mother

Our Journey Has Begun

I think I've started this blog post about 10 times and erased everything I've written. My thoughts and emotions are just a jumble. I can't exactly put a finger on what exactly I'm going through.

At one moment I'm excited beyond words. I'm at the starting line of a long-ass marathon and I can't wait to get to the end. I'm making plans. I'm envisioning the future. I want to run as fast as possible to get to the end.

The next moment I'm totally terrified, wondering what I have gotten myself into. How can I do this? Do I have the strength?

Its all mixed up because both of these emotions are proper. I should be feeling exactly what I am feeling right now. I, we, my family has made the momentous, life changing decision to bring another member into our family. We have offically begun our journey to Turtle.

I've nicknamed him Turtle because he will take his own sweet time to get to us. But now that time actually has a frame work, the process is beginning and it will have an end. And at that end is a baby, a little boy who will join our family forever.

I tear up just thinking about him and what he will look like, what it will feel like to meet him, to hold him. Even though he hasn't been born, and probably won't be for a while, I love him with all of my heart. I've never been pregnant but I suppose that this is what an expectant mother feels like when the find out they are pregnant.

Turtle will be from Ethiopia. We hope that he will join our family sometime in late 2009 or early 2010. Sometime within the next 18 months I will be holding my son. I can't belive that I just typed that but it is true.

But while I am excited, I am also scared. Our journey to Bunny went so smoothly. We were lucky. I wonder how this journey will go.

We are a trans-racial family. Both of our children will experience and have experienced things that we cannot imagine. I want to have the strength and the support in place for them, for our family as we face these challenges.

Bunny has an amazing support group of adopted children from China. She will be starting language classes in the fall with other girls just like her. But what about Turtle? What will he have? I have begun to reach out to find families in our area with children from Ethiopia. I have even found a family near by with children from both Ethiopia and China. I need to find support for him and for us. We need to know that he is not alone, that he will know other boys and girls who have been through the same experiences as he has.

I ache for his birth mother and family who will make the agonizing decision to place him for adoption. Just as I ache for Bunny's mother. I want to meet these women. To give them a hug and let them know that I will love their children forever. But also let them know that I will help their children rembember them in some way.

We have taken the first, small step on our journey to Turtle. I cannot wait to meet you, my son.