Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Stupid

Sometimes my own stupidity amazes me.

When they announced that BlogHer was going to be in Chicago I was thrilled. It was only 90 miles from my home. I could drive there, no worries about plane tickets. I could totally afford it and I was totally going.

I made arrangements for childcare. Bubs was going to take off of work. I told everyone I knew I was going. I was invited to and RSVP'd for parties.

But I forgot to actually register for the conference. Bubs reminded me but I never did it. I figured I had some time, it was still two months away.

But when I went to finally register, it was full. There were no tickets left. I was on the waiting list. When I found this out, I broke down in tears. Real tears that are usually reserved for important real life things.

But the thing is this blog and my blog friends have become a part of my real life, a very important part. This blog has given me a voice. It has helped me become more confident. It has helped me try new things, maybe not always successfully but I've tried. The blog has also given me you, my wonderful blog friends. Friends who have been there for me, to help me through the rough spots and to celebrate the good things.

I was finally going to put the two pieces of my life together. My blog life and my real life were going to merge. I was going to put faces to names. I was going to meet you. I was going to learn so much. I was going to take this blog (and my other neglected one) to another level, to make them better, to make them what they could be, what they should be.

I was. But now I am not. I was stupid and I waited and now I am too late.

So I sit here crying real tears as I type this cursing myself for being stupid, cursing myself because this matters too much.

8 comments:

Christy said...

I don't think it's too late. I know Vodka Mom was going to go even though she didn't have a ticket. You could do the same thing. You could still come, and just not attend the sessions. Attend the parties (What parties?! Who is throwing parties?!), the happy hours and the after-session meals. Seriously, I think you should. I really want to meet you! Consider it, at least. And put it out there in the universe that you want to attend...who knows, you could get lucky. I've seen a couple of sites giving away free admission - google search that. And I'll let you know when I happen upon contests like that one again. Don't despair!!!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Well - I'm not going to be able to go anyway - BUT I think you should just go whether you have a ticket or not. I bet a lot of people go to socialize and don't even bother with the conference. Tweet about it and get a "couldn't get or didn't want a ticket" group together.

Use those social networking skills and create your own agenda!

And who knows - maybe someone will give you their ticket.

Kari said...

I agree with Christy and Kate - you should totally still go! Plus, you are on the waitlist, so maybe you'll end up getting a ticket. Even if not before the conference, the chances that someone had to back-out last minute and you could get a ticket AT the conference have go to be high!

Unknown said...

Awwww...you should just go anyways! What do you have to lose?

BTW- I voted for your blog through Underdogs Unite (under Jasahab). If you get a chance please vote for me too! We are running for four different categories. Here is one of the links:
http://bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/75529/?utm_source=bloggerschoiceawards&utm_medium=badge&utm_content=bestpopcultureblog

Thanks so much!

John
http://johnandstevearehavingababy.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

I would think you could still hang out at the conference just not participate in their own events or classes or whatever they have of their own doing. You can still attend the parties and meet people. I went to an IMATA convention years ago in Chicago that I didn't sign up for. But I still went..met some friends there, met new ones..I just couldn't go to the IMATA sponsored events which was fine with me. This is important to you..I say you should go anyway...

anymommy said...

You should absolutely go! A lot of people just go for the parties and stuff I guess. Read Meghan's latest post and plan on the trip! I'd love to meet you.

EatPlayLove said...

I know a couple of people that were just offered waitlist tickets recently. Maybe it will happen.

BTW, if I was that close, I would go with out a ticket. It's about the socializing anyway!

Christen said...

I can definitely empathize about getting upset about missing an opportunity. I recently found out that a local college had a great creative writing course this summer. I was so excited to join and had visions that this course would change my life: I would become a better writer, write a book, get famous- all because I took this class. When I found out it was full, I cried for about twenty minutes (and I don't usually get upset over nothing.) So disappointing...