In this post I ask for your help. I am truly, desperately in need of some advice.
I have two children. You can see their smiling faces in my header picture. I love my children, I truly do. But did you know that my children possess an evil super power? It's true.
My children possess the power to manipulate time. They can take a normal day with 24 hours in it and make all of those 24 hours all about them. Now they may leave me a spare 5 minutes here or there to go to the bathroom, but more often than not they don't.
I have told my husband of their evil time manipulation but he does not believe me. "Honey, there are still 24 hours in the day. No one can change it" he tells me.
"No you don't understand," I argue. "We woke up and I was going to do some laundry. We some how ended up in the car and there was some screaming and hitting. Every time I turned around there was a child at my hip looking at me with a evil smile and laughing. Before I know it it's 11:30 at night and I haven't showered in 2 days. They are doing something to me I just know it. They are stealing time."
Even when I can grab a few spare minutes for myself to write this post, I can hear my son laughing an evil laugh and throwing things in the sink. I think he may have even thrown the cat in the sink.
So here is my desperate plea, I need some advice on how to steal the time back from my children. I have looked in all the places where they normally hide things and it is not there.
How do you get things done? How do you find time for yourself? How do you find time to shower?
And if its hopeless, please lie to me. Please I beg of you.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
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Its not hopeless, but I *do* tend to find more time now that my kids are a little bit older (3 & 5). Sometimes I feel guilty not "being present" with them - I'll get them busy with coloring books or a game or movie and then sneak online to play a mind-numbing game simply because its the rest my brain craves. But I think balance is something every Mom struggles with - whether it be a time balance, a work balance or budget balance. I wish I had better answers for you! BLECH.
I know - it's crazy isn't it. I streamline as much as possible and have a schedule. They both nap at the same time - so I either nap or do stuff like shower and dishes and laundry and pay bills, etc. Also, we cut back in other areas so I could hire a sitter once a week for a couple of hours so I can go out by myself. AND I go to the gym every day and drop them off in the gym's daycare for one to two hours. TOTAL mental relief right there - it's like $2 a kid an hour, and I get to let off steam. One day last week I didn't actual workout (saving up energy for my tri!!) but I still dropped them off and went into the locker room - used the sauna and hottub, then showered and got ready in peace and quiet! You should do the same! Good luck - hang in there!!!
When my kids were their ages I had schedules. I was very rigid with my schedule and it helped so much. I have had a couple of friends with little ones use my schedule and it has helped them, once the kids get used to it.
If you want me to email you, I can.
Hard stuff here...I totally understand. And with the addition of each child, time goes exponentially (did I spell that right??) faster! Like others said, I keep the littles on a schedule and make myself lie down, read, etc, when they're both napping. I stay up way too late to have time to myself. But then I'm tired the next day.... I will say that as they get bigger you get more and more time. And sometimes it's sad. My girls (ages 12 & 9) can go up to their attic room and I might not see them all day if they didn't have to come downstairs to eat or go to the bathroom. So believe it or not, this will pass so quickly you will wonder where these days went - maybe gladly, maybe sadly. But survival right now...I totally understand...it's tough! Hang in there. Oh, I almost forgot, nights out to grocery shop, etc, by myself, are like a little slice of heaven :-) Scary but true!
Just like most of the posts above you need to create a schedule and no matter what, I mean it, no matter what you have to stick to the schedule. I can only relate a little as I'm not a stay at home mom but my nearest and dearest best friend is and we talk about her schedule ALL the time. She cuts dinners/birthday parties, family visits, whatever is going on, just to keep her kids on schedule. And ya know what? She has the happiest most well behaved kids!(Well except the typical hitting and biting). Its that hardest but most rewarding thing. She bases her stuff on the book On Becoming Babywise. They have toddler versions and really great online support! I can have her email you if you want. Good luck!
I'd have to agree w/the schedule thing. My sister has her son on a schedule and does what Dbaker's friend does as far as cutting things short if they're out so that the schedule can be kept and when she has others such as myself or our parents watch him, we stick to the schedule as well. It's definitely hard to enforce when you have those little eyes pleading with you to let them go astray but in the long run sticking to your guns will work out best for all of you. Hang in there, it'll get better.
For the items that need to get done such as laundry have them help you. You'll be surprised How much they love that. For the times you just need some time for yourself are there activities they like? Movies? Certain toys? Coloring? Looking at books? The biggest thing to remember is you are the parent and they are te kids. They have to learn to respect you and your sanity. That means that even I'd tough you have to put your foot down and have them learn activities for themselves for quiet time. Before you know it you will have some time for yourself
If I felt myself getting sucked into a time vortex I would set the stove timer for ten minutes. When it went off, I would make myself move on. At first I would leave things undone, and have to come back to them, but soon I was okay.
Hmm. Wish I had some good advice to give you but once upon a time I had four children on a schedule napping at the same time and an 1 1/2 to myself to clean, exercise, call my friends, etc. and then I decided to homeschool my oldest. Free time for mom out the door. I have no advice but if you find something that works, let me know. For now, I am either staying up way to late (like now for instance) or relishing in the weekends. And good for you for your date. Our social worker is always asking if we are getting out by ourselves.
Early bedtime ;-) It's a hard time, isn't it? I try to tell myself that it's short, this time when they are so little and so needy, but it doesn't always make me feel any better.
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