Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Uncontrol

I am a control freak.

I want things to go my way.

I need things to go my way.

When things do not go my way as they usually don't, I kinda freak out about it.

Ok, I really freak out about it.

I try to control the uncontrollable and generally make myself miserable in the process.

Nap time is at 12 noon. Snuggle time starts soon thereafter. I love this time. I need this time.

Nap time isn't going to happen today. Despite waking up at 5:30, Lion has decided the 15 minutes he slept in the car is enough. I tried to force the issue. I tried to control the uncontrollable.

It didn't work.

I started to lose it. I wanted to cry. So I did the next best thing, I stepped back. I left the room. I let the kids play together. I cried for a few minutes then I just let it go. I breathed in and out. I was okay.

It was okay.


Kelly L said...

Oh my - I could have written this post 10 years ago... Heck I could have written it today and my kids are teens now... It's hard...

Love to you.
I've Become My Mother

Julie said...

Oh I get this more than I can even describe. Control freak - yes I am! Napping control freak - check. It is SO hard to let go of those few minutes that you look forward to all day long. I must admit I use our baby-gated child-proof living room often. I lay on the couch right there in the middle of it, drink my coffee and read books while the littles wander around safely. I can pretend I'm alone....kinda/sorta. Hoping you get a little time, a little space of your very own! I'm thinking of you this day :-)

Heather said...