Change is coming to But Why Mommy land. Terrifying, exciting change is coming.
We signed Bunny up for pre-school next fall. She's very excited about the prospect of school (in theory). She is interested in learning. Everyday she asks, "What will I learn in school? Will I learn about giraffes? Will I learn about dinosaurs?"
I am excited for her. It means that she is no longer a little girl, she is growing up. Fast. Pretty soon she won't need me and that is a scary prospect.
We've also begun working on Turtle's adoption again. We put it on hold last fall while we figured some things out. I'm excited about bringing a new baby into the family. Well I'm excited most days. Other days I'm terrified. Things are so perfect right now, our family is in a great groove. If we bring Turtle home, what will happen? Then I start to dwell on all of the bad possibilities, the ones the books warn you about.
I literally have to shake myself to get out of this mindset. I know our family is not complete. It won't be complete until we have Turtle home with us. There is something missing without him(or her).
So my mind has been a little crazy with the possibility of Bunny growing up and not needing me and wondering what will happen when we add to our family. What's next, the unknown, the terrifying and the exciting is all right there under the surface. One moment I'm likely to laugh, the next I'll cry, the next I'll panic.
So with all of this emotion floating around, I found myself in the car with Bunny listening to the radio. I was flipping the stations looking for a good song. I came across the new Darius Rucker song and stopped to listen. I've been a fan since the Hootie days, so I was interested. I didn't expect that tears would start streaming down my face and I would have to pull over to avoid getting into an accident. D*mn you Darius Rucker, how dare you make me cry.