Big Boys Don't Cry

I try to make it fun. I build it up like it's going to be the best thing ever.

"We are going to get a hair cut! Yay! Who cuts your hair?"

"Man!"

"Yes the man. We will go see Mr. Tony and get your hair cut. Then we'll get smoothies."

"Moooofies!"

He's fine until we walk into the building. Then he tries to crawl inside my shirt.

The moment we sit in the chair (we because he sits on my lap), he starts to cry. When the clippers start up, he struggles and screams "No momma! No momma!"

It's not working. Tony looks at me and tells me it's time. We are going to do this like a big boy.

I get up and Tony sits with Lion. He talks to him and jokes with him, constantly reassuring. He is so good with him. It will be ok.

I repeat it over and over in my mind, it will be ok. He has to learn how to get his hair cut. But Lion is beside himself, crying. "Pees momma up. Momma! Momma!"

My heart breaks in a million pieces all over the floor. It cannot be done fast enough. However, I maintain my composure so he cannot see my sadness.

Finally, it's over. Lion is in my arms laughing like nothing happened. He recieves a sucker. Yay!

Tony tells me something I already know, once a month is not enough. We need to do it more often. He needs to get used to the chair and the clippers, two weeks. Two weeks! I'm not sure if the crazy glue holding my heart together will be set by then.

Broken Hearts and Bee Stings

Let's just get this out there, I do not like bugs. Insects, arachnids and their bretheren just creep me the hell out.

I can admire them for the engineering marvels that they are. I mean how the heck do those bumble bees fly and the spiders spin those amazing webs? But that is the extent of my good feelings towards the creepy crawling, hopping and flying little buggers goes.

But yesterday my feelings towards bugs took an interesting turn.

Bunny is in love with Miss Spider's Tea Party by David Kirk. She requests the book all the time and even "reads" it in bed. Needless to say she was over the moon when we discovered the Miss Spider show on Noggin. As far as she is concerned this show should be on a constant loop at our house.

I like the show too. Good animation and the cute little bugs teach good stories about how to treat others. As far as I am concerned these cartoon bugs are the only bugs I like.

Until yesterday. Yesterday I was cursing David Kirk and whoever green lit the cartoon. They caused me to break my daughter's heart.

Bunny was over tired at naptime. She did not want to sleep, all she wanted to do was watch Miss Spider. And I wouldn't let her until after she took a nap. But she wouldn't sleep. All I heard were repeated requests to watch Miss Spider over the monitor.

After listening to this for over almost an hour an a half, it was clear there would be no nap. So, begrudginly, I retreived her from her room. Bunny thought this meant she could watch Miss Spider. But I did not want to give in so I put my foot down and said no.

This caused a major over tired breakdown. Bunny started sobbing with tears streaming down her face. "Please momma. Please watch Miss Spider momma. I said please momma." Her heart was breaking and so was mine. She asked so politely, it was all she wanted. But I was mean and would not give in.

I know this was the best thing for her but her tired little brain could not wrap itself around this. All she knew was that her mother was denying her the only thing in the world she wanted. I felt terrible.

But her heartbreak was short lived, mine was not. She was diverted by grapes and juice and the promise of the pool. As I watched her splashing in the pool and running through the sprinkler I thought about how I'd let her down. I thought about the many times I would let her down in the future and my heart broke some more.

It was about that time when I saw a wasp buzzing around the backyard. I started freaking out. Of all the bugs, I hate the stinging kind the most. I had these terrible visions of Bunny being stung, of having to take her to the emergency room, of, well, even more horrible things than that.

I knew I couldn't let her get hurt but I didn't want to drag her away from the pool and disappoint her once again. So I kept an eye on the wasp. I even positioned myself between her and the wasp, thinking he wouldn't come near the water. Right? Wrong. Apparently he was thirsty and thought the puddles near the pool were a nifty place to hang out. Yikes.

So I, in my bug fearing brain, knew I needed to get her out of there. I knew she'd see the wasp and want to go in for a better look. I was afraid her movements would spook the wasp and . . . well not good. So I wrapped her in a towel and took her in the house.

After a few squawks of protest, she was happily watching Miss Spider in the living room. Her heart was content. And mine was healed by a icky stingy wasp who reminded me what was important.

Thank You Nice Day Have Dinner

Have you ever been so tired where you break into peals of laughter for no reason? In college we called it being punchy. When you stayed up all night studying or just generally didn't get enough sleep you would get punchy.

When you are punchy you laugh an almost hysterical laughter that can turn in to tears at any moment. For no reason. Its just your emotions being pushed to the edge and your overtired body can't do anything about it. We've all been there.

And last night so was Bunny. For whatever reason she decided not to nap, yet again. But she needs a nap, if she doesn't she gets punchy.

We had dinner with my parents last night. When we are there she is always "on", the consumate entertainer, making everyone laugh. Round about 6:30 she started in on the hysterical laughter. She found a Thomas the Train song book where if you press a button it will play a song. When she'd press the button she'd start dancing and laughing and laughing. Things that weren't really funny became hilarious.

At about 7 we figured we should leave so we could get Bunny to bed at a reasonable time. All the way home she would point at a car and yell "Red Car" and laugh. Then she would cry and say "I want Daddy". I explained Daddy had his own car because he came from work. Well that worked for a while before she saw a "Blue Car". Then it was "I want Ama and Baca." Oh look "Green Car"

On and on it went. Laughter and tears, tears and laughter. Meanwhile I was channel surfing on the radio and came across "The Break Up Song" by The Greg Kinn Band. I don't know why but I always have to sing it really loud when I hear it. So I did. Well that was pretty much it. Bunny dissolved into hysterics at every "Bumpa bump bumpa bump bump bump" She'd yell "sing it again mommy." She sang it all the way home, laughing all the way.

So it looks like Greg Kinn got himself a new fan.

Some Days

Some days you wake up at the crack of dawn.

Some days nothing goes right. A trip to the beach breaks down into a whinefest because there is yucky smelly seaweed along the shore. A trip to the grocery store turns into a full blown tantrum. Meal time becomes a battleground.

Some days you are so mind numbingly tired that you put your shirt on inside out. And when you finally notice and go to turn it right side out you realize that you are not in your home but on the street on the way to the park. Your brain is so hazy that you think its logical to change it in the park bathroom until the scent reminds you not to. So you don't change and you climb into bed still wearing that same inside out shirt.

Some days your toddler decides not to nap.

Some days you are so soul crushingly tired that you close the door to the bathroom so you don't have to cry in front of your toddler.

Some days your toddler is so cranky that she will throw a toy across the room and in the very next breath sob because she wants it back.

Some days you yell at your husband when he calls from the store that you sent him to because he is not here to help.

Some days your body just aches and you are asleep before your head hits the pillow.

But then some days you get to sleep in to 7:30. And you are greeted with a smile so bright that it could power the entire city for a month. Some days you know are going to be better.