Shoes

I love shoes. Of course I do I am a woman and it is in the DNA.

But I also hate shoes. You see I am tall and have big feet. I have had these clown feet since I was 13. When I was a freshman in high school I was asked to the Homecoming Dance. It was a big deal for me. So I bought a dress. But when I went to look for shoes, I found that they did not carry cute shoes in my size. In fact they didn't have many shoes in my size at all. So I had to buy some ugly granny shoes. We tried to make them cute by adding some clips but they were still ugly. I was traumatized. I hated shoes.

But when they actually started making shoes in my size I began to love them again. And I began to buy them, a lot of them.

But then the shoes contributed to feet and knee problems so I had to give up heels. I hate shoes.

On most days in the spring and summer you can find me wearing these:


Or these (my beloved Ed Hardy shoes I've had for 3 years which are getting holes in the toes):


Or if I have somewhere niceish to go, ballet flats. They are practical and functional. They are flat so they save my knees and my feet from further damage.

But yesterday, I had a free hour because Bunny was with my mom. After looking for flooring at Home Depot, I decided to go to one of my favorite stores. I hadn't been there in a while so I was excited to look around. There was a shoe sale. I mean a SHOE SALE! Most of their stuff is insanely expensive so I wasn't too worried, until I saw these:





I fell in love because they are red and awesome. They make me smile. They don't look practical or functional*. And they were on sale, for $30. So I had to buy them. I rationalized it as a Mother's Day present for myself. If I bought these then Bubs and Bunny didn't have to buy me anything. They can if they want but they don't have to.

I love shoes.

*They are in fact practical and functional because the are Dr. Scholls. Which makes me love them even more.

Every Breath You Take, Every Move You Make

I'll be watching you.

February 20, 1984, Milwaukee Wisconsin

I was dropped off outside of the MECCA arena with my friends Ingrid and Katie. I was 14 and a freshman in high school. I was so excited because this was going to be my first concert without parents. We were going to see The Police on their last tour.

At that time, life did not get any better than that. I remember so much about the night. I was wearing a purple velour mini-skirt because it was 1984 and I was soooo cool. Our seats were behind the stage to the right. We had a perfect view of Stuart Copland and not much else. But then Sting came and sang two songs to those of us in the back. It was heaven.

Fast forward 24 years to July 25, 2008.

I'm older and a bit wiser but still damn excited to see the show. I realized that a lot had changed in 24 years. It was an outdoor show and there were thunderstorms in the forcast, so we brought rain jackets just in case (which is pretty lame for a rock show and shows how old I've gotten). Also the crowd had gotten older. There were a few teenagers who came with their parents and a smattering of kids in their 20s. But the majority of the crowd was in their late 30s and 40s. I also wasn't wearing a sassy mini-skirt. I was dressed in capris, a tee and cute sporty flats (which I later learned were not cute and sporty but were actually tools of the devil).

But when the first chords were struck I wasn't 38 anymore. I reverted back to that 14 year old girl. I knew every song and sang it at the top of my lungs. I danced with strangers sitting next to me. Demolition Man, Can't Stand Losing You, Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic, Don't Stand So Close To Me, Every Breath You Take. It was all perfect. (Although I do have to say during Invisible Sun they showed images of children from all over the world. It was almost enough to send my adoptive mama emotions over the edge every time I saw an image of an African boy or an Asian girl.) The show was wonderful and reminded me of what it was like to be a kid again.

I also fell in love three times last night. The first was with two security guards who escorted me to the first aid station back stage. You see my cute shoes had cut off all of the skin on the back of my right heel and some on my left. So I stood there bleeding in my shoes. You can't enjoy a concert if you can't stand up. It was a desperate situation, I needed band-aids stat. But at least 3 security guards turned me down, thinking that my situation was no so dire. Finally these two wonderful boys took pity on me and led me to first aid.

I then fell in love with the ladies working at the first aid tent. They gave me band-aids and antibiotic ointment. They got me back on my feet and enabled me to dance the night away.

Finally, I fell in love with the Sky Glider on the festival grounds outside the Ampitheater. German Fest was in full swing on the festival grounds and the Sky Glider was running the length of the grounds. Our car was a mile and 1/2 away. The Sky Glider cut 1/2 mile off and enabled me to save my feet once more.

We glided above the grounds over Helmut's Strudel Haus, several Oompah bands and stands selling spanferkel. We then left the grounds and walked through the art district where people were strolling in and out of galleries enjoying Gallery Night. This could have only happened in Milwaukee and reminded me of why I love this town.

Letting Go

I am a bit of a pack rat. I hang on to things longer than I should. Its a problem that I am trying to work on. With the explosion of toddler stuff in the house, I'm trying to let go of the stuff I don't need anymore. I think it will help with my feelings about the CrapShack. If I can get rid of some of the clutter it will look better.

The problem areas in the house are limited to two rooms really. Our room, more specifically our closet, and the office. Since those are two rooms I spend a fair amount of time in (sleeping and banging away on the computer) I should do something about it.

So a few weeks ago, I went through my closet. I took out all of the stuff that doesn't fit, which unfortunately was a lot. I also gave up all of my work clothes. I haven't worked in six months and I am not going to for the rest of the year. Its highly unlikely I'll go back to work before Bunny goes to school. I don't need the work clothes anymore. So out they went.

I even got rid of some shoes. Well more like 30 pairs (and I even kept 25 pairs). Just call me Imelda. I love shoes. You see when I was in high school I was 5'10" and had size 10 feet. Its not a big deal now but it was back then. They didn't make cute shoes in a size 10. For homecoming freshman year I had to buy these ugly grannyish shoes. And I hated that. So when they started making cute shoes in my size, I started buying them.

I know I could get rid of more. But I'm taking baby steps. I hope to become more minimal, more streamlined, eventually.

The next project is to tackle the office. I have way too much paper. I hang on to stuff in case I'll need it. And I never need it. So inspired by managermom's call to show where we work, I'm going to clean out this dump. On July 13th I'll show where it started and where it ended up. Now momma's gonna go buy a shredder.

Matchy Match

While I abhor having matching outfits with your children, I find myself strangely wanting the same shoes my daughter has. You see, my lovely mother bought Bunny these pink Chuck Taylors that I had picked out.

Now every time I see them, I want a pair of my own. I know where I can buy them and have been mentally calculating how many lattes I would have to skip in order to own them. They are just that cool.

I also have an affection for Converse because I wore a pair of green suede One Stars at my wedding reception. I love them to death. In fact they are on my feet as I am writing.

So the pink Chucks are calling to me. "Buy me" they whisper, "you know you want to."

Would it really be that wrong to wear the same shoes as Bunny?