A New Year

Our family recently celebrated two new year celebrations. The Jewish New Year for Frink and the Ethiopian New Year in honor of Lion (this brings the total new years that our family celebrates to four, well five if you count the school year). I like the idea of having a new year in the middle of the year. It's a time to look back. It's a time to cherish what you have and also a time to start fresh.

This year (or half year) has been filled with so much beauty. Moments that I want to savor like a summer peach, so ripe that the juices drip down your chin. Laughter. Smiles. Hugs. Kisses. Holding a sleeping child in my arms. Watching my daughter run and play with her friends on the playground before school. Beautiful, perfect moments I want to keep forever.

The challenges have been difficult.

"He bit me!" " I don't want a brother." "You ruined my life when you brought him here!!!"

The times in the beginning when he could not bear to be apart from me. The hitting. The biting. The inability to communicate with my son.

The new math of one to two, three to four was difficult to learn. There were times when thought I would break, sobbing in the darkness wondering what I had done.

I needed an escape, an oasis in the desert. I found what appeared to be a crystal clear pond that I could soak my bones in at the end of a long day. Night after night I jumped in the inviting waters but I did not find peace. Instead I found that I could not swin. So instead of relief, I struggled.

One night I climbed out of the pond for the last time. When I had wiped the water from my eyes, I saw a path through the woods. I did not know where the path led, I only saw its beauty, its potential. I saw smiling faces welcoming me. I saw hands reaching out to help me. This is not a path I would have to walk alone.

So I enter this new year full of hope for the beauty that is to come. And if there are unexpected twists and turns, I know I only have to wait four months for the next new year.