Monday, July 19, 2010

In the Midnight Hour

It's 10:00 or 10:30. The Brewer game has just ended. The movie is over. The news is finished. My husband yawns and says he is heading up to bed.

Bed. I love bed. I am exhausted. My body longs to follow him. My brain knows it's the right thing to do. However, I don't. I say "I'll be up in a few minutes."

Even though I need sleep to reenergize myself for another day of parenting the CEO and the Vampire, I don't go to bed. I stay up.

This is my time. The time when I am completely alone. No one is attached to my hip. No one is asking me for a snack. No one is whining. No one is hitting or biting or crying. No one is doing anything because it is just me.

So I sit in a darkened living room, the flickering TV is my only company. I may check in with my friends on Twitter . I * may* clean or do some laundry. I might read a book.

I could sit out on the porch watching the stillness of the night. I could slink around on cats' paws to watch my children sleep.

I could do anything or I could do nothing. It is my time.

I love Bunny with her freakish genius and her glorious imagination.

I love Lion with his boundless energy and his heart stopping smile.

I love my children for the endless possibilities that they have before them. I am truly happy that I get to play a part in who they become.

But, I love being alone. I love the solitude. I love the quiet. I love the ability to do whatever I want, to remember, to just be me.

So I will continue to wander in the midnight hour, in solitude.

5 comments:

Issas Crazy World said...

Quiet. Silence. Alone time. The want of every mother. I am convinced.

It's possibly why coffee was invented. :)

Lisa said...

I totally get you on this. Alone time is essential for me. As much as I love being a stay at home mom, as much as I love spending time with my family, I do need some time when it is just me.

(PS love the new nicknames of the CEO and the Vampire :) )

Anonymous said...

You could have alone time whenever you wanted to, and not so late at night too. I am just a call away.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Well - you know how much I like my alone time. I will sometimes wake up in the middle of the night have decide to get on the computer for a while. I need alone time more than I need sleep.

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