Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Right now my life is pretty much chaos. At any given moment I am running around, chasing various children and yelling.

"No, not for Lion."
"Don't pull the cat's tail.
"Don't eat that."
"Don't lick that."
"Don't hit."
"Don't bite."
"We don't bite our sister."
"Bunny we don't hit our brother."
"I don't care if he bit you, stole your toy or whatever."
"Oh my goodness how did you get up there?"
"What is that smell?"

There are times when I am convinced I did not adopt a boy. Rather I adopted a mogwai who somebody got wet and fed after midnight. There is no other explanation for the amount of destruction he can create, there has to be at least 10 of him running in all different directions. And his teeth are really sharp. He is clearly many, many gremlins.

By the end of the day, I am worn down. I feel beaten. I feel every bit of my 40 years. I sit down and I think "man, I've got to do this again tomorrow." It makes me wonder if I can do it again.

But then there are times, small split seconds, when there is no chaos. Lion will come to me and lay his head on my lap while sucking his finger. It's a momentary pause in his path of destruction but it's there. It lifts my spirits.

Bunny will come to me, sit on my lap and say "I love you momma." Those four words give me the strength, the courage to carry on.

Today we were all in my room while I was getting dressed. I was trying to referee making sure that the two small people in my charge did not kill each other or themselves. Then I heard it, a plaintive wail "Momma, I was sitting in that chair." I calmly explained to her that Lion was calm and quiet in the chair so she should let him sit there.

She looked at me defiantly and climbed in the chair with him. I expected screams. I expected hitting. I expected biting. What I did not expect was calm. I did not expect peace. I did not expect my two children, often mortal enemies, to be sitting in a chair together. I certainly did not expect it to last 10 whole minutes, but it did.

I was overwhelmed. I was so happy. When I told Bunny how proud I was that they were getting along, she smiled "he's not so bad right now."

I thought, "You are so right honey. It's not so bad right now."


Logical Libby said...

They say you don't remember pain -- which is why children live past childhood...

Julie said...

So precious! What a great moment in your day. Missing you...hope all is well, despite the chaos :-)

Anonymous said...

Love these stories! Their cousins would like to play. Whats three more kids to throw in this mix of chaos, right?

Lisa said...

Oh, that is so sweet.

Issas Crazy World said...

Oh hun, I love this. I think those are the moments that make it all worth it. probably why our species has made it this far.

Beth said...

Oh Renee how timely these words are for me as I sit alone, husband to bed, kids asleep. Every day I think, "Really? Isn't it Friday?" So much bodily fluids on my body- spit up and snoots from Lucia, potty and other unmentionables from the whirling dervishes in the midst of flourishing in potty training. And Thomas? Sweet Thomas, beloved Thomas who I find most the time I am hushing away, tonight we played bingo by ourselves. I climbed into bed with him and he snuggled close. Chaos every single day but then the bits of calm that give me the strength to do it all over again. Prayers and peace to you all. B