Wednesday, February 10, 2010

One

One is a tiny number. Its not a lot, like 10, 100 or 1,000,000. Compared to those numbers it is next to nothing.

One is also a huge number. One year is 365 days. So many things can happen in those 365 days. One is everything.

My son is one. He has lived 365 days on this earth and I have not been present for one of those days. I have missed year one of his life.

I was not there when he took his first breath. I was not there when he smiled for the first time. I was not there when he rolled over, sat up or crawled for the first time. I have missed so many firsts.

I was not there when his mother passed away. I was not there when he was placed into care. I have not been there for him since.

I was not there. I was not holding him, comforting him.

I was here. I was at this computer staring at his picture, pouring over any information I could get. I was here loving him from a distance.

One is huge. One is everything. I cannot get that back.

One is also tiny. One is next to nothing.

I will hold him in my arms. I will comfort him. I will be there when he sees our home for the first time, when he meets his sister. I will be there when he becomes part of our family forever.

I will walk him to school. I will teach him to throw a ball. I will teach him to ride a bike. I will be there for the multitude of firsts that are yet to come.

I will be there, present with him for the rest of his life.

One is huge. One is tiny. One step on a lifetime journey.

So Happy Birthday my son, my little Lion ( I hope you don't mind, your sister blew out your candle and ate your cupcake. Next year its all yours.)

15 comments:

Issas Crazy World said...

Beautiful post my friend. One is big. But? You'll get to celebrate every other birthday with him, forever. One day? He'll know you loved him before you ever even met him. Happy birthday to your tiny boy. I can't wait for you to bring him home.

How nice of his sister to eat his cupcake. :)

Avasmommy said...

**wiping away tears**

That was beautiful. I hope you are holding him in your arms soon.

Becky said...

talk about making me want to cry. happy birthday to lion and i can't wait for you to get him.

Jennifer said...

One is HUGE and tiny at the same time...so true. I'm sorry you don't have him in your arms yet...especially on such a big day in his little life.

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY little lion!

tguolee said...

Soon Renee' ... Soon.

Michelle said...

Soon Lion will be blowing out his own candles and eating his own cupcake. Keep your chin up....Lion's going to be here before you know it and we can all ooh and ahh over him in person.

Lisa said...

Wow, wiping tears from my eyes to type this comment. This was a beautiful post. I hope he is in your arms soon.

Bridget said...

Happy Birthday, Little Lion! We can't wait to meet you!!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday sweet baby boy! We love you so much already. Can't wait to meet you.
Soon mommy, soon...
We love you guys. Beth

Diane and John said...

What a beautiful post. I saw this on your cousin facebook post. He went to high School with me. We have adopted our daughter from China. Her name is Julia see our blog Juliashome4ever.blogspot.com

AmazingGreis said...

One day soon you will hold little Lion in your arms and will be there for EVERY other first!! Good luck tomorrow, can't wait to see your little one and to see him with his sister and in your home with the family that he will LOVE!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Happy birthday Lion! One is perfect. My favorite baby age.

And that picture is priceless.

EatPlayLove said...

Happy Birthday Lion, can't wait to celebrate the many more to come with you!

Christy said...

Awww so sweet Renee. I am so excited for you guys, and am sure next year he will love blowing out his own candles!!!

Heather said...

beautiful.