Tonight I was a different, more mysterious version of myself.
I always wanted to be the kind of girl who wore red lipstick, the girl who stood out in the crowd. Instead I was the girl who stood in the back wearing lip balm. If I was feeling particularly daring, I would wear a tinted lip balm or lip gloss. For business purposes I would wear my tried and true MAC Twig, a shade described as a soft, muted brownish-pink. It really fit me to a T, I am soft, muted and brownish-pink.
Sometimes I would experiment. I would try bolder, more adventurous colors. Trying to make myself more bold, more adventurous. Sometimes I succeeded. Sometimes I failed. In fact, I have a drawer full of my failures.
Red scared me. Red was too vivacious, too daring. Red was too red.
But one day, I crossed that imaginary line in the sand. I bought a red lipstick. I don't know if it was the right shade for me but I bought it. Carrying it home in my bag, it felt like I was carrying an ancient treasure. I was carrying something that would connect me with famous femme fatales throughout history.
I got home. I ran in the bathroom. I closed the door. I tried on the lipstick. And I hated it. I thought it looked good but I didn't look like me. I looked like someone else, someone who was trying too hard. So I hid it away in the medicine cabinet. Occasionally, I would try it on before I went out. But I would always chicken out, I would cover it with a gloss or another color. I would change it.
But not tonight. Tonight I wore red lipstick.
I was different.
I was the same.
I wore the same shirt and jeans I had run errands in earlier in the day. I traded out my converse for some high heeled boots (because a 5'10" woman can always stand to have an extra 2 inches). I wore perfume. I wore red lipstick.
I was me and I was confident.
For those of you who made it to the end, here are the football picks:
Minnesota @ Pittsburgh
San Francisco @ Houston
San Diego @ Kansas City
Green Bay @ Cleveland
Indianapolis @ St. Louis
New England @ Tampa Bay
Buffalo @ Carolina
NY Jets @ Oakland
Atlanta @ Dallas
Chicago @ Cincinnati
New Orleans @ Miami
Arizona @ NY Giants
Philadelphia @ Washington
Combined Score 35