Who Is This For, You or Me?

Nap time in our house has gone the way of the dodo bird. It is extinct. Dead as a doornail. And it has been for some time.

We (I) tried in vain to have quiet time in her room. I hoped that she could play quietly while I got some things done around the house. Nope. It didn't work in the least. You see she can open her door and come downstairs by herself. So I would spend the hour taking her back upstairs repeatedly. Not the best use of my time.

Then we tried having her watch a video or show while I did other things. Somedays it worked fine. Somedays it didn't. She would get lonely. "Momma can you come here please. I miss you. I want you to watch with me. Please." So I'd come in and sit for a while and go back to whatever I was doing, only to have the whole thing start all over again.

So the next thing we tried has worked like a dream. I can't believe I didn't think of this before. When its time for quiet time, we both head to the couch with our blankets. I lay down first then she lays on top of me. We turn on a show and snuggle for a while. Then she will either lay with me, sit on the other couch or play quietly while watching her show. The most important thing is she is quiet. For a whole hour. Its perfect.

Now how can this be perfect, you ask. Isn't the point of quiet time for you to have some time to yourself? Yes it is. And I do get exactly what I need.

Because every day I fall asleep on the couch during quiet time. I get almost an hour of uninterrupted napping. And it is awesome.

The Drive-Thru

The drive-thru is the ulitmate in convenience. You can get what you want without ever having to leave your car. No fuss, no muss.

Just place your order into the speaker, drive forward, hand your money to the person at the window and drive off with your food. In my estimation, this is the only way to do fast food. I don't eat it very often but when I break down and make a run for the border, I don't feel as bad about it if I go to the drive thru. I'm protected in the car, no one can see me ordering my tacos. Yes I am aware that someone could see my car but I pretend they can't.

Now the drive-thru wedding, I don't really understand. Are you in that much of a hurry to get married, that you can't get out of the car? Are you like Bonnie and Clyde, on the run from the law and need to be prepared for a get away at a moments notice? Or is it the kitsch value? I just don't know.

When I heard that Starbucks had installed drive-thru windows on some of their locations I didn't really understand that either. I mean I get it in theory. If you are a commuter and are in a hurry you can pull into the drive thru and get your venti, non-fat latte faster than if you went into the store.

But I never really needed coffee that badly that I couldn't get out of the car for it. My commute was only 15 minutes and there was a coffee shop in my building, so I could wait for my morning cup. Or if I really had to have it before I left, I'd make a pot when I first got up. It just seems easier.

Plus to me the best part of coffee is savoring it. I like the ambiance of the coffee house. I like to see the people. I like to smell the fresh coffee. Coffee just tastes better that way.

So I've never felt the need to visit a drive-thru for my coffee fix. Until yesterday. Yesterday there was no nap and there was a cranky toddler to deal with. I figured we'd head to the store to pick up a few things. As most parents know, the car has magical sleep inducing properties so I was also hoping for a nap.

Of course she fell asleep within 10 minutes of being in the car. We didn't make it to the store but that's okay because Bubs could pick up the stuff on the way home. But now what? If we go home, she is likely to wake up on the transfer and that would be bad. It was snowing so I didn't want to aimlessly drive around. I wanted to go somewhere, but where?

Then it hit me, the Starbucks drive thru. Genius. I could get my salted caramel hot chocolate and kill some time. (If you haven't had a salted caramel hot chocolate you must run to your local Starbucks and get one. Its that good. No its better than good, its amazing. But I digress.) This was the perfect use of the coffee drive-thru and I was glad there was one when I needed it.

Warning Do Not Try This At Home

Have you ever been so tired that you felt if you let your head start to nod it would snap off your body, roll out the door, down the street and land in the gutter covered in leaves and dirt? Have you ever been so tired that you thought your head had already done that?

All you can think about in your headless state is sleep. Sleep is the only thing that will cure the headlessness. Nap, you need to nap.

Now what would you do if you, in your headless state, were confronted with a toddler who vehemently dislikes naps. If you shut her in her room while you nap, you know there will be no peace. You've done that before.

Would you decide that the only rational option is to have a slumber party in her room? Would your headless body belive that if you made a game out of sleeping she would sleep? If she saw you sleep that she would sleep and you would awake with your head back on your body?

It seems like such a simple idea. It has worked in the past at nighttime. Somehow laying on the floor with a blanket and pillow makes it easier for her to sleep, easier for you to sleep.

So you grab that blanket and pillow and make a big production out of arranging them on the floor. You both cuddle under the blanket and read some books. Then you lean over and kiss her before "falling asleep."

But as desperately as you want sleep, she desperately wants not to sleep. She runs around the room pulling every book off the shelf. "Read this book, momma." "Read that book, momma." Books are thrown around the room, some land on you.

But you continue to "sleep", hoping against hope that she will fall asleep too. You become a jungle gym. You are climbed on, climbed over, jumped on. It does not feel good.

There are attempts to wake you. "Momma, momma, momma" shouted in an outside voice. "Momma are you sleeping?" whispered as loudly as possible. "Momma, no sleep," whispered quietly from a mouth pressed directly into your ear.

You are covered in kisses to wake you up. You are covered in drool from the kisses.

Thwack, thwack, thwack. The sounds of the glider hitting the wall, over and over again. You make a mental note to move the glider further away from the wall to stop that from happening. But not now. You cannot show weakness now. If your eyes open or you change positions, she will have won. There will be no nap and your head will still be lying in the gutter at the end of the street.

This goes on and on. You don't know how long you've been lying there. But all of a sudden it seems quiet. Has she given up? Have she fallen asleep? Have you fallen asleep? You don't know and you don't want to check and see.

But then you hear it, "Momma, this book has a dinosaur in it." Well, duh. All your books seem to have dinos in them.

At that point, you give up. No one is sleeping today. You open your eyes and see a smiling face three inches from your own. You reach out for the book to read it, glancing at your watch. And then you notice its been an hour and a half. You could not have survived the onslaught for that long, you must have slept. She must have let you sleep.

You tentatively reach up to see if your head is attached to your body again. It is. It may be hanging by a few threads but it is there. You can go on with the day. However, you vow never to try that again.

The Great Big Girl Bed Experiment

On Sunday after a few days of build up, we took the front rail off of Bunny's crib and turned it into a toddler bed.

She was over the moon. She kept getting in and out of the bed with a huge smile on her face.

I was not as excited. You see, her crib was like a toddler cage. Even if she did not want to be in it, she did not climb out of it. Well she did once but she fell and never did it again. I could put her down for a nap or to bed at night and there she would stay. She might scream bloody murder but I knew she was safely contained.

So right after we put her down on Sunday night, she climbed right out of bed and headed for the door. The door was closed so she doesn't have to deal with meowing (and sometimes peeing) cats jumping in and out of her bed like mommy does. So she grabbed the door handle and tried with all of her might to open the door. She was unsuccessful, for now. But she is just like a Velociraptor and will figure that out in a few days.

So I went in, put her back in bed and read her another book. And you know what? She stayed in bed playing, eventually falling asleep. She stayed there until morning. Halleluja!

Yesterday at naptime we were not so lucky. She didn't try to escape but she brought the entire contents of her bookcase into her bed. And then proceeded to cry that there was not enough room, the books weren't staying where she wanted, the stuffed animals were not cooperating with the books. You name it, she cried about it. Total drama. Just when I thought she had fallen asleep, I hear a knock at the door "Momma, I pooped."

Great. Naptime officially over with no actual napping.

No nap led to a sleepy toddler nodding off in her dinner. She fell asleep at 7 and stayed asleep (and in her bed) until she called for me at 7 am. Again another great sign.

Now we just need to work on naptime. She needs it and so do I.

Naptime is wasted on the young

At what age to you realize that naps are indeed a good thing and not something to be fought tooth and nail? High School? Definitely by college.

The past two days Bunny has sat in her crib for 2 hours, talking not napping. Monday she didn't sleep and yesterday she fell asleep right before the 2 hour mark.

I don't understand this. If I had a chance to nap, I'd jump on it. I would crawl into bed with one or both of the kitties and I'd be asleep within 15 minutes. I would wake up an hour or two later refreshed and ready to go. Bunny not so much.

Now its my understanding that kids at this age sleep on average 13 hours a day. Bunny is working on about 9 to 10. Maybe she doesn't need that much sleep, maybe its just a phase.

But I really hope she is not ready to give up napping alltogether. Her naptime is also my time. I can get a ton of stuff done when she is not around demanding my attention every 2 minutes. I surf the internets, I make jewlery, I read books, I clean the house and I even sometimes nap.

So Bunny this is my plea to you, give your poor mom a break and take a nap. It makes us both less cranky.

Word to the wise

Even if you think its the greatest idea in the world, don't decide to trim the front hedges during naptime. Especially if you never do this kind of work. Especially if you've got slight carpal tunnell and want to make jewelry in the next few days. Especially if you have to keep up with a toddler in the afternoon.

Yeah I thought this would be a great idea. But then my arms and wrists started crying in pain and I was completely exhausted. Not so great.

On the bright side, the hedges look great.