Bigger

The other day someone asked how old my kids were and I automatically answered six and three.  The second the words were out of my mouth I realized my mistake.  They are not six and three, they are seven and four.

They are not who they were, they are something more.  They are bigger, older.  They are further away from that place where they fit neatly in my arms.  Now they sprawl across my lap or worse yet find their own spot.

Slowing it down, stopping time is not possible.  I know, I've tried.  I repeatedly asked Lion not to turn four.  "You are so perfect now" I argued.  "I sorry momma.  I turn four, I no know how to stop it."  It can't be done.  Bigger happens.  Older happens.

Bigger is good.  Older is good.  I have conversations with Bunny that astound me.  She understands so much.  I am beginning to share my interests with her in a way that was not possible before.  She, in turn, has opened her world to me.  The stories she tells, the secrets she shares are beautiful.  I am blessed with a glimpse of the woman yet to be, serious, silly, talented, exquisite.

Bigger is fun.  Older is fun.  Lion is pure joy.  He experiences life, he does not sit on the sidelines waiting for something to happen.  It is inspirational, something that in my 40 some years of life I have never really been able to get the hang of.  I want to nurture that.  I want to wrap that gift so that he can carry it with him.  Remember the time when you were getting bigger, remember that boy, be that boy always.

Bigger makes me nostalgic for smaller.  Older makes me miss younger.  But bigger also leads us to better.  Older leads to more.

Six became seven.  Three turned four.  Bigger.  Older.  Better.  More.

Together

Sunday is family day.  It is the one day a week that we all spend together, no matter what.  Usually we do something, a visit to the museum or the zoo.  Sometimes we do nothing.  We hang out at home playing games, making crafts or whatever.  It doesn't matter what as long as we are together.

Today the plan is to go ice skating at the Pettit Center.  It will be a fun experiment.  The kids have never skated and I haven't hit the ice in, well I'm not quite sure when it was.

Afternoon trips are tricky.  Lion still naps.  He needs it.  Without a nap, we don't know what child we will have.  It could be nice Lion, fun Lion or crazy Lion.  So he naps and we wait.

Bunny and I snuggled down on the couch, me with my laptop and her with my phone.  We sit side by side engrossed in our own little media worlds.  I show her pictures of family and friends from Facebook.  She reads over my shoulder, carefully sounding out each word.  She shows me the contraptions she is building on Bad Piggies.  We laugh and giggle when it falls apart and cheer when it makes it through.

Frink comes in carrying a tired Lion.  He can't sleep laying down, the cough he's been battling won't allow it.  Frink settles in on the couch next to us with Lion.  Finger in mouth and more comfortable in an upright position, Lion drifts off.

The four of us together on our big red couch.  It's what family day is all about.

Family

Six years and one day ago, my family consisted of two people, just Frink and I.

Six years ago to the day, two became three. 

It's funny how the addition of just one teeny, tiny person changed everything.  One day earlier, I thought I knew who I was and what I was doing.  That day I knew nothing.  I didn't know up from down, left from right.  I just put one foot in front of the other and muddled through the best I could.

Three eventually became four.  I had successes and spectacular failures. I learned. I grew.


Mornings where I just wanted to throw in the towel and run away led to afternoons of laughter.  I think nothing of sneaking around the store like a ninja.  Stories I have heard over and over again become gloriously new when read to me by my child.   My house may never be clean.  I may not get a shower every day.  I won't know what I am doing more often than not.    But I know who I am.  I am a mom.  I am part of an amazing, crazy, perfect family.   Just Write